ขาว — Page 4
As a daughter, again and again, in all the versions of herself she had been since she first carried a small white puppy through that gate and said, this one, this is the one.
作为一个女儿，一次又一次，在她自从第一次抱着一只白色小狗走过那扇门、说道，就是这只，就是这只以来，所经历的所有版本的自己之中。
The gate was the same gate.
那扇门还是那扇门。
The absence had a shape.
那份缺席有它的形状。
It lived at the foot of the stairs and in the corner of the kitchen and in the space between the two chairs on the porch, and it was not a hollow shape but a full one — the shape made by something that had been entirely present for a very long time.
它栖居在楼梯脚下，在厨房的角落里，在门廊两把椅子之间的空隙中，它不是一个空洞的形状，而是一个饱满的形状——由某个曾经完完全全在场了很久很久的东西所留下的形状。
She thought that she would spend the rest of her life learning to carry it, and that this was not a tragedy.
她想，她将用余生学习如何承载它，而这并不是一场悲剧。
It was the exact weight of what she had been given.
它恰恰是她所被给予之物的重量。
Her mother reached over and put her hand on Nipa's hand, and they stayed like that while the garden settled into night.
她的母亲伸过手来，将手覆在妮帕的手上，她们就这样静静待着，直到花园沉入夜色。
Vocabulary
- 作为
- zuòwéi — Acting as; in the role or capacity of something
- 一个
- yīgè — One; a single unit or item
- 女儿
- nǚ'ér — Daughter; one's female child
- 一次
- yīcì — Once; one time or occurrence
- 又
- yòu — Again; once more; also
- 在
- zài — At; in; located at a place
- 她
- tā — She; her; third-person female pronoun
- 自从
- zìcóng — Ever since; from a certain point in time
- 第一次
- dìyīcì — The first time; initial occurrence of something
- 抱着
- bàozhe — Holding; carrying something in one's arms
- 一只
- yīzhī — One (animal or paired item); a single creature
- 白色
- báisè — White color; the color white
- 小狗
- xiǎogǒu — Small dog; puppy
- 走过
- zǒuguò — To walk past; to pass through on foot
- 那扇
- nà shàn — That (door/window); measure word for doors
- 门
- mén — Door; gate; entrance
- 说道
- shuōdào — Said; uttered words; remarked aloud
- 就是
- jiùshì — Exactly is; precisely; it's just that
- 这只
- zhè zhī — This (animal); this particular creature
- 以来
- yǐlái — Since; from a past time up to now
- 所
- suǒ — Particle indicating passive or nominalization of verb
- 经历
- jīnglì — To experience; undergo; lived experience
- 的
- de — Structural particle indicating possession or modification
- 所有
- suǒyǒu — All; every; everything belonging to someone
- 版本
- bǎnběn — Version; edition; variant of something
- 自己
- zìjǐ — Oneself; one's own self
- 之中
- zhīzhōng — Among; within; in the middle of
- 还是
- háishì — Still; or; nevertheless; it remains
- 那份
- nà fèn — That portion; that particular feeling or share
- 缺席
- quēxí — Absence; being absent; not present
- 有
- yǒu — To have; there is; to exist
- 它的
- tā de — Its; belonging to it
- 形状
- xíngzhuàng — Shape; form; physical outline of something
- 它
- tā — It; third-person pronoun for objects or animals
- 栖居
- qījū — To dwell; to inhabit; to nest or reside
- 楼梯
- lóutī — Staircase; stairs; steps between floors
- 脚下
- jiǎoxià — At one's feet; beneath; underfoot
- 厨房
- chúfáng — Kitchen; room used for cooking food
- 角落
- jiǎoluò — Corner; a secluded or overlooked spot
- 里
- lǐ — Inside; within; interior of something
- 门廊
- ménláng — Porch; doorway corridor; entrance hallway
- 两把
- liǎng bǎ — Two (chairs/tools); measure word for handled items
- 椅子
- yǐzi — Chair; seat; a piece of furniture for sitting
- 之间
- zhījiān — Between; among; in the space separating things
- 空隙
- kòngxì — Gap; crack; empty space between objects
- 中
- zhōng — In; among; within; the middle
- 不是
- bùshì — Is not; negation of identity or state
- 空洞
- kōngdòng — Hollow; empty; void; lacking substance
- 而是
- érshì — But rather; instead is; on the contrary
- 饱满
- bǎomǎn — Full; plump; rich and abundant in quality
- 由
- yóu — By; from; due to; caused by
- 某个
- mǒu gè — A certain; some particular unspecified one
- 曾经
- céngjīng — Once; formerly; at some point in the past
- 完完全全
- wánwán quánquán — Completely; entirely; wholly and thoroughly present
- 在场
- zàichǎng — To be present; to be on the scene
- 了
- le — Particle indicating completion or change of state
- 很久
- hěnjiǔ — A long time; for quite a while
- 东西
- dōngxi — Thing; object; stuff; an item
- 留下
- liúxià — To leave behind; to remain; to retain
- 想
- xiǎng — To want; to think; to wish or intend
- 将
- jiāng — Will; shall; about to; future particle
- 用
- yòng — To use; to employ; by means of
- 余生
- yúshēng — Remaining life; rest of one's lifetime
- 学习
- xuéxí — To learn; to study; to acquire knowledge
- 如何
- rúhé — How; in what way; by what means
- 承载
- chéngzài — To carry; to bear weight or responsibility
- 而
- ér — And; yet; but; connecting clauses together
- 这
- zhè — This; referring to something nearby or just mentioned
- 并不是
- bìng bùshì — Not at all; is simply not; emphatically not
- 一场
- yī chǎng — One instance of event; a single episode
- 悲剧
- bēijù — Tragedy; a tragic event or outcome
- 恰恰
- qiàqià — Exactly; precisely; just right; as it happens
- 是
- shì — To be; is; am; are
- 被
- bèi — Passive marker; by; indicates receiving an action
- 给予
- jǐyǔ — To give; to bestow; to grant something to someone
- 重量
- zhòngliàng — Weight; heaviness; the mass of something
- 她的
- tā de — Her; belonging to her
- 母亲
- mǔqīn — Mother; one's female parent
- 伸过
- shēnguò — To reach over; to extend across toward something
- 覆在
- fù zài — To cover upon; to place over something gently
- 手上
- shǒu shàng — On the hand; upon one's hand
- 她们
- tāmen — They; them; referring to a group of females
- 就
- jiù — Then; just; right away; indicating immediacy
- 这样
- zhèyàng — Like this; in this way; thus
- 静静
- jìngjìng — Quietly; silently; in a still and calm manner
- 待着
- dāizhe — Staying; remaining; sitting still in a place
- 直到
- zhídào — Until; up to the point when something happens
- 花园
- huāyuán — Garden; a cultivated outdoor space with plants
- 沉入
- chénrù — To sink into; to be submerged into something
- 夜色
- yèsè — The colors of night; darkness of evening
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