The Yellow Wallpaper — Page 5

我们已经在这里住了两个星期了，自从第一天之后，我一直没有提笔写作的心情。

We have been here two weeks, and I haven't felt like writing before, since that first day.

我现在坐在窗边，就在这间令人厌恶的育儿室里，没有什么能阻止我尽情书写，除了体力不支。

I am sitting by the window now, up in this atrocious nursery, and there is nothing to hinder my writing as much as I please, save lack of strength.

约翰整天都不在家，有时候当他的病人病情严重时，他甚至彻夜不归。

John is away all day, and even some nights when his cases are serious.

我很庆幸我的病情并不严重！

I am glad my case is not serious!

但是这些神经方面的毛病真是让人郁闷极了。

But these nervous troubles are dreadfully depressing.

约翰不知道我实际上承受了多少痛苦。他认为没有任何理由感到痛苦，这让他感到满意。

John does not know how much I really suffer. He knows there is no reason to suffer, and that satisfies him.

当然，这不过是神经过敏罢了。但无法尽到任何职责，这让我深感压抑！

Of course it is only nervousness. It does weigh on me so not to do my duty in any way!

我本想成为约翰的得力助手，让他得到真正的休息和慰藉，可如今我已然成了他的一个累赘！

I meant to be such a help to John, such a real rest and comfort, and here I am a comparative burden already!

没有人能想象，做那些我力所能及的小事——穿衣打扮、招待宾客、安排事务——需要耗费多大的气力。

Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little I am able—to dress and entertain, and order things.

幸好玛丽照料孩子照料得很好。真是个可爱的宝贝！

It is fortunate Mary is so good with the baby. Such a dear baby!

然而我却无法陪伴在他身边，那会让我神经紧张不已。

And yet I cannot be with him, it makes me so nervous.

我想约翰这辈子从未有过神经紧张的感觉。他总是拿这壁纸的事来取笑我！

I suppose John never was nervous in his life. He laughs at me so about this wallpaper!

起初他打算给这个房间重新贴壁纸，但后来他说我是在让这件事越来越控制我，而且对一个神经质的病人来说，最糟糕的事莫过于向这种幻想屈服。

At first he meant to repaper the room, but afterwards he said that I was letting it get the better of me, and that nothing was worse for a nervous patient than to give way to such fancies.