ขาว — Page 1
The gate was the same gate.
대문은 여전히 그 대문이었다.
Nipa saw it from the window of the songthaew before she saw anything else — the white paint faded to the color of old paper, the latch her mother had fixed with wire three years ago and never replaced properly, the gap at the bottom where Khao used to press his nose through to smell who was coming.
니파는 썽태우 창문에서 다른 무엇보다 먼저 그것을 보았다 — 낡은 종이 색으로 바랜 흰 페인트, 어머니가 3년 전에 철사로 고쳐놓고 제대로 교체하지 않은 빗장, 카오가 코를 들이밀고 누가 오는지 냄새를 맡곤 하던 아래쪽 틈새를.
She had not called ahead this time.
이번에는 미리 전화를 하지 않았다.
She had not wanted to give her mother time to prepare things, to tidy and arrange and put on the face she wore for visits.
어머니에게 준비할 시간을, 정리하고 꾸미고 손님맞이용 표정을 지을 시간을 주고 싶지 않았던 것이다.
She wanted to arrive into the ordinary version of the house, whatever that looked like now.
지금 어떤 모습이든 간에, 집의 평범한 일상 속으로 들어서고 싶었다.
She paid the driver and stood in the road with her bag and let herself look.
그녀는 기사에게 요금을 내고 가방을 든 채 길 위에 서서 천천히 바라보았다.
The frangipani by the gate had grown.
대문 옆 플루메리아나무가 자라 있었다.
It had not occurred to her that it would keep growing in her absence, but of course it had — white flowers dropping onto the concrete path, the same sweet, slightly funeral smell she had grown up inside without noticing until she left and found it again every time she came home.
자신이 없는 동안에도 나무가 계속 자랄 것이라고는 생각하지 못했지만, 물론 그랬던 것이다 — 콘크리트 길 위로 흰 꽃이 떨어지고, 떠나기 전까지는 미처 알아채지 못한 채 그 안에서 자라났고 집에 올 때마다 다시 만나게 되는 달콤하고 약간은 장례식 같은 그 냄새.
The mango tree in the corner of the garden was older in the way trees go older, heavier and quieter, casting a wider shadow over the patch of ground where Khao used to sleep in the hottest part of the afternoon.
정원 한쪽 구석의 망고나무는 나무가 늙어가는 방식으로 더 늙어 있었다, 더 무겁고 더 고요하게, 카오가 가장 더운 오후 시간에 낮잠을 자곤 하던 땅 위로 더 넓은 그늘을 드리우며.
She opened the gate.
그녀는 대문을 열었다.
Her mother appeared at the porch before Nipa had reached the steps, which meant she had heard the latch, which meant she had been listening for it.
니파가 계단에 닿기도 전에 어머니가 현관에 나타났는데, 그것은 어머니가 빗장 소리를 들었다는 뜻이었고, 귀를 기울이고 있었다는 뜻이었다.
They embraced without speaking.
두 사람은 말없이 서로를 껴안았다.
Her mother was smaller than she remembered, or perhaps Nipa had simply stopped revising the image she carried and the real person had quietly changed inside it.
어머니는 기억보다 작았다, 아니면 어쩌면 니파가 마음속에 품고 있던 이미지를 그냥 고쳐나가기를 멈춰버렸고 실제 사람은 그 안에서 조용히 변해버린 것이었는지도 몰랐다.
"You didn't eat on the bus," her mother said.
"버스에서 아무것도 안 먹었구나," 어머니가 말했다.
Vocabulary
- 대문은
- daemun-eun — The front gate (topic marker attached)
- 여전히
- yeojeonhi — Still, as before, unchanged from before
- 그
- geu — That; he; the (demonstrative or article-like)
- 대문이었다
- daemun-ieotda — It was the front gate
- 창문에서
- changmun-eseo — From the window
- 다른
- dareun — Other, different, another
- 무엇보다
- mueotboda — More than anything, above all else
- 먼저
- meonjeo — First, beforehand, ahead of others
- 그것을
- geugeot-eul — That thing (object marker attached)
- 보았다
- boatda — Saw, looked at (past tense of 보다)
- 낡은
- nalgeun — Old, worn-out, dilapidated
- 종이
- jongi — Paper
- 색으로
- saek-euro — In color, with the color of
- 바랜
- baraen — Faded, bleached, discolored over time
- 흰
- huin — White (adjective form)
- 페인트
- peinteu — Paint (loanword from English)
- 어머니가
- eomeoni-ga — Mother (subject marker attached)
- 3년
- sam nyeon — Three years
- 전에
- jeone — Before, ago, previously
- 철사로
- cheolsa-ro — With wire, using wire
- 고쳐놓고
- gochyeonoko — Fixed and left as is, repaired (and then)
- 제대로
- jedaero — Properly, correctly, as it should be
- 교체하지
- gyochehaji — Not replacing (negative verb form of 교체하다)
- 않은
- aneun — Did not, having not (negative modifier)
- 빗장
- bitjang — Door bolt, latch, bar for locking door
- 코를
- ko-reul — Nose (object marker attached)
- 들이밀고
- deurimilgo — Pushing or poking in, thrusting forward
- 누가
- nuga — Who (subject form of 누구)
- 오는지
- oneun-ji — Whether someone is coming, who is coming
- 냄새를
- naemsae-reul — Smell, odor (object marker attached)
- 맡곤
- matkkon — Used to smell, habitually sniff
- 하던
- hadeon — Used to do, was doing (past habitual modifier)
- 아래쪽
- araejjok — Lower side, bottom part, downward direction
- 틈새를
- teumsae-reul — Gap, crack, crevice (object marker attached)
- 이번에는
- ibeon-e-neun — This time (topic marker attached)
- 미리
- miri — In advance, beforehand, ahead of time
- 전화를
- jeonhwa-reul — Phone call (object marker attached)
- 하지
- haji — Not do (negative verb stem form)
- 않았다
- anatda — Did not (past tense negative auxiliary)
- 어머니에게
- eomeoni-ege — To mother, for mother (dative marker)
- 준비할
- junbihal — To prepare, preparation (future modifier)
- 시간을
- sigan-eul — Time (object marker attached)
- 정리하고
- jeongniha-go — Tidying up and, organizing and
- 꾸미고
- kkumigo — Decorating and, adorning and, dressing up
- 손님맞이용
- sonnim-maji-yong — For greeting guests, guest-welcoming purpose
- 표정을
- pyojeong-eul — Facial expression (object marker attached)
- 지을
- ji-eul — To make (an expression), to put on (face)
- 주고
- jugo — Giving and, to give (connective form)
- 싶지
- sipji — Not want to (negative desiderative form)
- 않았던
- anatdeon — Had not done (past retrospective negative)
- 것이다
- geosida — It is the fact that, that is the thing
- 지금
- jigeum — Now, at this moment, currently
- 어떤
- eotteon — What kind of, some, any, whatever
- 모습이든
- moseup-ideon — Whatever appearance, whatever state one is in
- 간에
- gane — Regardless, whether or not, no matter what
- 집의
- jibui — Of the house, home's (possessive marker)
- 평범한
- pyeongbeomhan — Ordinary, normal, average, typical
- 일상
- ilsang — Everyday life, daily routine
- 속으로
- sogeuro — Into, inside, into the midst of
- 들어서고
- deureoseogo — Stepping into and, entering and
- 싶었다
- sipyeotda — Wanted to, desired to (past desiderative)
- 그녀는
- geunyeo-neun — She (topic marker attached)
- 기사에게
- gisa-ege — To the driver (dative marker attached)
- 요금을
- yogeum-eul — Fare, fee, charge (object marker attached)
- 내고
- naego — Paying and, handing over and
- 가방을
- gabang-eul — Bag (object marker attached)
- 든
- deun — Holding, carrying (modifier form of 들다)
- 채
- chae — While, as is, in the state of
- 길
- gil — Road, street, path, way
- 위에
- wie — On top of, above, on
- 서서
- seoseo — Standing (connective form of 서다)
- 천천히
- cheoncheonhi — Slowly, unhurriedly, at a leisurely pace
- 바라보았다
- baraboatda — Gazed at, looked out at, stared at
- 대문
- daemun — Front gate, main gate of a house
- 옆
- yeop — Side, next to, beside
- 자라
- jara — Growing (connective form of 자라다)
- 있었다
- isseotda — Was there, existed (past tense of 있다)
- 자신이
- jasin-i — Oneself (subject marker attached)
- 없는
- eomneun — Absent, not present (modifier form)
- 동안에도
- dongan-edo — Even during, even while (time period marker)
- 나무가
- namu-ga — Tree (subject marker attached)
- 계속
- gyesok — Continuously, continuously, without stopping
- 자랄
- jaral — To grow (future modifier form of 자라다)
- 것이라고는
- geosiragoeneun — That it would be, as for the fact that
- 생각하지
- saenggakhaji — Not think, not consider (negative form)
- 못했지만
- motaetjiman — Could not do, but (past negative concessive)
- 물론
- mullon — Of course, naturally, needless to say
- 그랬던
- geuraetdeon — Was so, had been that way (retrospective)
- 위로
- wiro — Onto, upward, above (directional marker)
- 꽃이
- kkochi — Flower (subject marker attached)
- 떨어지고
- tteoreojigo — Falling and, dropping and (connective form)
- 떠나기
- tteonagi — Leaving, departing (nominalizer form of 떠나다)
- 전까지는
- jeonkkaji-neun — Until before, up until (topic marker added)
- 미처
- micheo — In time, before it's too late, sufficiently
- 알아채지
- araechaoji — Not noticing, failing to realize (negative form)
- 못한
- motan — Could not, was unable to (past negative modifier)
- 안에서
- aneseo — From inside, within, from the interior
- 자라났고
- jaranatkko — Grew up and, sprouted and (connective past)
- 집에
- jibe — At home, to the house (location marker)
- 올
- ol — To come (future modifier form of 오다)
- 때마다
- ttaemada — Every time, whenever, each time
- 다시
- dasi — Again, once more, anew
- 만나게
- mannage — To meet, so as to meet (causative form)
- 되는
- doeneun — Becoming, being (present modifier of 되다)
- 달콤하고
- dalkomhago — Sweet and, sweetly and (connective adjective)
- 약간은
- yakgan-eun — Somewhat, slightly, a little bit
- 장례식
- jangnye-sik — Funeral, funeral ceremony, burial service
- 같은
- gateun — Like, similar to, resembling
- 냄새
- naemsae — Smell, scent, odor
- 정원
- jeongwon — Garden, yard, grounds of a house
- 한쪽
- hanjjok — One side, one direction, one part
- 구석의
- guseok-ui — Of the corner, in the corner (possessive)
- 늙어가는
- neulgeoganeun — Growing old, aging (progressive modifier)
- 방식으로
- bangsik-euro — In a way, in a manner, by a method
- 더
- deo — More, even more, further
- 늙어
- neulgeo — Old, aged (connective form of 늙다)
- 무겁고
- mugeopgo — Heavy and, weightily and (connective adjective)
- 고요하게
- goyohage — Quietly, silently, in a still manner
- 가장
- gajang — Most, the most, to the greatest degree
- 더운
- deoun — Hot, warm (modifier form of 덥다)
- 오후
- ohu — Afternoon, PM
- 시간에
- sigan-e — At the time, during the time
- 낮잠을
- natjam-eul — Nap, daytime sleep (object marker attached)
- 자곤
- jagon — Used to sleep, habitually slept
- 땅
- ttang — Ground, earth, land, soil
- 넓은
- neolbeun — Wide, broad, spacious (modifier form)
- 그늘을
- geuneul-eul — Shade, shadow (object marker attached)
- 드리우며
- deuriuumyeo — Casting (shade) and, draping and
- 대문을
- daemun-eul — Front gate (object marker attached)
- 열었다
- yeoreotda — Opened (past tense of 열다)
- 계단에
- gyedan-e — On the stairs, at the steps
- 닿기도
- datkido — Even reaching, before even touching
- 현관에
- hyeongwan-e — At the entrance, in the entryway
- 나타났는데
- natanannneunde — Appeared, but; showed up and (connective past)
- 그것은
- geugeot-eun — That thing (topic marker attached)
- 소리를
- sori-reul — Sound, noise (object marker attached)
- 들었다는
- deureotdaneun — That she heard, the fact of hearing
- 뜻이었고
- tteus-ieotgo — Was the meaning and, meant and
- 귀를
- gwi-reul — Ear (object marker attached)
- 기울이고
- giuligo — Lending (an ear), tilting and, inclining and
- 있었다는
- isseotdaneun — The fact that she was, having been
- 뜻이었다
- tteus-ieotda — It was the meaning, it meant
- 두
- du — Two (native Korean numeral)
- 사람은
- saram-eun — Person, people (topic marker attached)
- 말없이
- mareopssi — Without words, silently, without speaking
- 서로를
- seoro-reul — Each other (object marker attached)
- 껴안았다
- kkyeoanaatda — Hugged, embraced each other (past tense)
- 어머니는
- eomeoni-neun — Mother (topic marker attached)
- 기억보다
- gieok-boda — More than memory, compared to remembering
- 작았다
- jagwatda — Was small, was smaller (past tense)
- 아니면
- animyeon — Or, otherwise, if not
- 어쩌면
- eojjeomyeon — Perhaps, maybe, possibly
- 마음속에
- maeumsoge — Inside the heart, in one's mind
- 품고
- pumgo — Harboring and, holding and, cherishing and
- 있던
- itdeon — Was holding, used to have (retrospective modifier)
- 이미지를
- imiji-reul — Image (object marker attached, loanword)
- 그냥
- geunyang — Just, simply, as is, without any change
- 고쳐나가기를
- gochyeonagagi-reul — Updating, continuing to correct (object form)
- 멈춰버렸고
- meomchwoboryeotgo — Had stopped (completely) and (connective past)
- 실제
- silje — Reality, actually, in real life
- 조용히
- joyonghi — Quietly, silently, without making noise
- 변해버린
- byeonhaebeorin — Had (completely) changed (retrospective modifier)
- 것이었는지도
- geosieonneunji-do — Whether it was the case that, perhaps it was
- 몰랐다
- mollatda — Did not know, was unaware (past tense)
- 버스에서
- beoseu-eseo — On the bus, from the bus
- 아무것도
- amugeotdo — Nothing, not anything (with negative verb)
- 안
- an — Not, no (short negative adverb)
- 먹었구나
- meogeotguna — So you didn't eat; exclamation of realization
- 말했다
- malhaetda — Said, spoke, told (past tense of 말하다)
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