The Yellow Wallpaper — Page 12
But I must say what I feel and think in some way—it is such a relief!
でも、自分が感じることや思うことを何らかの形で言わなければなりません――それはとても気持ちが楽になるのです！
But the effort is getting to be greater than the relief.
しかし、その労力はだんだんと、得られる安堵感を上回るようになってきています。
Half the time now I am awfully lazy, and lie down ever so much.
今ではほとんどの時間、ひどくだるくて、ずっと横になっています。
John says I mustn't lose my strength, and has me take cod-liver oil and lots of tonics and things, to say nothing of ale and wine and rare meat.
ジョンは体力をつけなければいけないと言って、タラの肝油や様々な強壮剤などを飲ませています。エールやワイン、レアの肉はもちろんのことです。
Dear John! He loves me very dearly, and hates to have me sick.
優しいジョン！彼はとても深く私を愛していて、私が病気でいることをとても嫌がります。
I tried to have a real earnest reasonable talk with him the other day, and tell him how I wish he would let me go and make a visit to Cousin Henry and Julia.
先日、彼と真剣でまともな話し合いをしようとして、ヘンリーいとことジュリアのところへ訪問に行かせてほしいとどれほど願っているかを伝えようとしました。
But he said I wasn't able to go, nor able to stand it after I got there; and I did not make out a very good case for myself, for I was crying before I had finished.
しかし彼は、私には行く体力がないし、着いてからも耐えられないだろうと言いました。そして私はうまく自分の意見を主張できませんでした。話し終える前に泣き出してしまったのです。
It is getting to be a great effort for me to think straight. Just this nervous weakness, I suppose.
まっすぐに考えることが、だんだんと大変な努力を要するようになってきています。ただの神経の衰弱なのだと思いますが。
And dear John gathered me up in his arms, and just carried me upstairs and laid me on the bed, and sat by me and read to me till it tired my head.
そして優しいジョンは私を両腕に抱きかかえ、階段を上って寝室まで運び、ベッドに寝かせてくれて、頭が疲れるまで傍に座って本を読み聞かせてくれました。
He said I was his darling and his comfort and all he had, and that I must take care of myself for his sake, and keep well.
彼は私が自分のかわいい人であり、慰めであり、全てであると言い、彼のためにも自分の体を大切にして、元気でいなければならないと言いました。
Vocabulary
- でも
- demo — But; however; even so
- 自分
- jibun — Oneself; myself; yourself
- が
- ga — Subject marker particle
- 感じる
- kanjiru — To feel; to sense something emotionally or physically
- こと
- koto — Thing; fact; matter (nominalizer)
- や
- ya — And; or; listing particle for examples
- 思う
- omou — To think; to feel; to believe
- を
- wo — Object marker particle
- 何らか
- nanraka — Some kind of; some sort of
- の
- no — Possessive or nominalizing particle
- 形
- katachi — Shape; form; manner
- で
- de — By means of; at; in (particle)
- 言わ
- iwa — Say (stem form of 言う, to say)
- なけれ
- nakere — Must; conditional negative stem form
- ば
- ba — If; conditional particle
- なり
- nari — Become (stem of なる); must become
- ませ
- mase — Polite verb ending (stem of ます)
- ん
- n — Negative or explanatory sentence-ending particle
- それ
- sore — That; it (referring to something nearby)
- は
- wa — Topic marker particle
- とても
- totemo — Very; extremely; quite
- 気持ち
- kimochi — Feeling; mood; sensation
- 楽
- raku — Comfortable; easy; relaxed
- に
- ni — Direction, location, or purpose particle
- なる
- naru — To become; to turn into
- です
- desu — Polite copula: is; am; are
- しかし
- shikashi — However; but; nevertheless
- その
- sono — That (demonstrative adjective)
- 労力
- rōryoku — Labor; effort; toil
- だんだん
- dandan — Gradually; little by little
- と
- to — And; with; quotation particle
- 得ら
- era — Obtainable (stem of 得られる, to be obtained)
- れる
- reru — Passive or potential verb suffix
- 安堵
- ando — Relief; reassurance; peace of mind
- 感
- kan — Feeling; sense; impression (suffix)
- 上回る
- uwamawaru — To exceed; to surpass; to go above
- よう
- yō — It seems; like; as if (auxiliary)
- なっ
- nat — Became (te-form base of なる)
- て
- te — Connective te-form particle
- き
- ki — Come (stem of くる, auxiliary for progression)
- い
- i — Be; exist (stem of いる)
- ます
- masu — Polite verb ending suffix
- 今
- ima — Now; currently; at this moment
- ほとんど
- hotondo — Almost; nearly; mostly
- 時間
- jikan — Time; hours; a period of time
- ひどく
- hidoku — Terribly; severely; awfully
- だるく
- daruku — Feeling heavy and lethargic; sluggish
- ずっと
- zutto — All along; continuously; much more
- 横
- yoko — Side; lying down; horizontal
- 体力
- tairyoku — Physical strength; stamina; bodily energy
- つけ
- tsuke — Attach; build up (stem of つける)
- いけ
- ike — Must not; go (stem of いける/いく)
- ない
- nai — Negative auxiliary; not; does not exist
- 言っ
- it — Said (te-form base of 言う, to say)
- タラ
- tara — Cod (fish); also conditional form suffix
- 肝油
- kan'yu — Cod liver oil; fish liver supplement
- 様々な
- samazama na — Various; diverse; all kinds of
- な
- na — Adjectival linking particle or prohibition
- 強壮剤
- kyōzōzai — Tonic; restorative medicine; invigorating supplement
- など
- nado — Etc.; and so on; and the like
- 飲ま
- noma — Drink (stem of 飲む, to drink)
- せ
- se — Causative suffix; make someone do
- ワイン
- wain — Wine (alcoholic beverage)
- レア
- rea — Rare (as in undercooked meat)
- 肉
- niku — Meat; flesh
- もちろん
- mochiron — Of course; naturally; certainly
- 優しい
- yasashii — Kind; gentle; tender-hearted
- 彼
- kare — He; him; boyfriend
- 深く
- fukaku — Deeply; profoundly
- 私
- watashi — I; me (first-person pronoun)
- 愛し
- aishi — Love (stem of 愛する, to love)
- いて
- ite — Being; existing (te-form of いる)
- 病気
- byōki — Illness; sickness; disease
- いる
- iru — To be; to exist (animate)
- 嫌がり
- iyagari — Disliking; showing reluctance or aversion
- 先日
- senjitsu — The other day; recently; a few days ago
- 真剣
- shinken — Serious; earnest; genuine
- まとも
- matomo — Proper; sensible; decent; straightforward
- 話し合い
- hanashiai — Discussion; talk; mutual conversation
- しよう
- shiyō — Let's do; volitional form of する
- し
- shi — Do; and (conjunctive form of する)
- いとこ
- itoko — Cousin (relative)
- ところ
- tokoro — Place; location; point in time
- へ
- e — To; toward; directional particle
- 訪問
- hōmon — Visit; call on someone
- 行か
- ika — Go (stem of 行く, to go)
- ほしい
- hoshii — Want; desire; wish for
- どれほど
- dorehodo — How much; to what extent
- 願っ
- negat — Wished; hoped (te-form base of 願う)
- か
- ka — Question particle; or; wonder
- 伝えよう
- tsutaeyō — Let's convey; volitional form of 伝える
- まし
- mashi — Polite past auxiliary (stem of ました)
- た
- ta — Past tense auxiliary verb ending
- 行く
- iku — To go; to move toward a place
- 着い
- tsui — Arrived (stem of 着く, to arrive)
- から
- kara — From; after; because
- も
- mo — Also; too; even; as many as
- 耐え
- tae — Endure; bear; withstand (stem of 耐える)
- られ
- rare — Potential or passive verb suffix
- だろう
- darō — Probably; I suppose; right? (conjecture)
- 言い
- ii — Say (stem of 言う, to say)
- そして
- soshite — And then; and so; after that
- うまく
- umaku — Skillfully; successfully; well
- 意見
- iken — Opinion; view; idea
- 主張
- shuchō — Assertion; claim; insistence
- でき
- deki — Can do; be able to (stem of できる)
- でし
- deshi — Polite copula past stem (base of でした)
- 話し
- hanashi — Talk; speak (stem of 話す)
- 終える
- oeru — To finish; to end; to complete
- 前
- mae — Before; in front of; previously
- 泣き出し
- nakidashi — Burst into tears; start crying suddenly
- しまっ
- shimat — Ended up doing (te-form base of しまう)
- まっすぐ
- massugu — Straight; directly; without detour
- 考える
- kangaeru — To think; to consider; to reflect on
- 大変
- taihen — Very; difficult; tough; serious
- 努力
- doryoku — Effort; hard work; endeavor
- 要する
- yōsuru — To require; to need; to take (effort)
- ただ
- tada — Just; merely; simply; only
- 神経
- shinkei — Nerve; nerves; sensitivity
- 衰弱
- suijaku — Weakness; debility; physical decline
- だ
- da — Plain-form copula: is; am; are
- 思い
- omoi — Thought; feeling; desire; emotion
- 両腕
- ryōude — Both arms
- 抱きかかえ
- dakikakae — Held in arms; cradled; embraced
- 階段
- kaidan — Stairs; staircase; steps
- 上っ
- nobot — Climbed (te-form base of 上る, to go up)
- 寝室
- shinshitsu — Bedroom; sleeping room
- まで
- made — Until; up to; as far as
- 運び
- hakobi — Carried; transported (stem of 運ぶ)
- ベッド
- beddo — Bed (furniture for sleeping)
- 寝かせ
- nekase — Put to bed; lay someone down
- くれ
- kure — Give (to me); do for me (て-form base)
- 頭
- atama — Head; mind; brain
- 疲れる
- tsukareru — To get tired; to become fatigued
- 傍
- soba — Beside; nearby; at one's side
- 座っ
- suwat — Sat (te-form base of 座る, to sit)
- 本
- hon — Book; volume
- 読み
- yomi — Read (stem of 読む, to read)
- 聞かせ
- kikase — Read aloud to; let someone hear
- かわいい
- kawaii — Cute; adorable; dear; lovely
- 人
- hito — Person; human being; people
- あり
- ari — Exist; there is (stem of ある)
- 慰め
- nagusame — Comfort; consolation; solace
- 全て
- subete — All; everything; entirely
- ある
- aru — To exist; to have; to be (inanimate)
- ため
- tame — For; for the sake of; in order to
- 体
- karada — Body; health; physique
- 大切
- taisetsu — Important; precious; cherished; valuable
- 元気
- genki — Healthy; energetic; in good spirits
- なら
- nara — If; in that case; conditional form
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