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Malee looked at her daughter, this twelve-year-old who had always known, somehow, which direction she was growing toward.
말리는 딸을 바라보았다. 열두 살인 이 아이는 언제나 어쩐지 자신이 어느 방향으로 자라고 있는지 알고 있었다.
It is only school, she had said, and she was not wrong.
학교일 뿐이에요, 라고 아이는 말했었고, 틀린 말이 아니었다.
It was only school.
학교일 뿐이었다.
And then it would be something else, and then something else again, because that was how it worked with people like Nipa, people oriented toward the horizon — each thing led naturally to the next, and all of it pointed away from here.
그리고 그다음에는 또 다른 무언가가 되고, 또 그다음에는 또 다른 무언가가 될 터였다. 니파 같은 사람들, 지평선을 향해 방향이 맞춰진 사람들에게는 그런 식으로 흘러가기 마련이었으니까 — 모든 것이 자연스럽게 다음으로 이어지고, 그 전부가 이곳에서 멀어지는 쪽을 가리켰다.
"Let me read it properly," Malee said.
"제대로 읽어볼게," 말리가 말했다.
She pulled the papers toward herself and smoothed the top page with her palm.
그녀는 서류를 자기 쪽으로 당기며 손바닥으로 맨 위 장을 편평하게 폈다.
Nipa understood this to mean yes, or close enough to yes that she should begin preparing herself for the other conversations.
니파는 이것이 승낙을 뜻하거나, 아니면 다른 대화들을 준비하기 시작해도 될 만큼 승낙에 충분히 가깝다는 것을 알아챘다.
She got up and went to help with the green beans.
그녀는 일어나 강낭콩 손질을 거들러 갔다.
They worked side by side the way they always did, the knife and the bowl, the comfortable rhythm of two people who knew each other's domestic pace.
두 사람은 늘 그러듯 나란히 일했다. 칼과 그릇, 서로의 살림 속도를 아는 두 사람의 편안한 리듬으로.
Khao slept through it all.
카오는 그 모든 것이 이루어지는 동안 잠을 잤다.
Or appeared to sleep — his eyes were almost closed, but his ears moved every few minutes, adjusting, cataloguing.
아니, 자는 것처럼 보였다 — 눈은 거의 감겨 있었지만, 귀는 몇 분마다 움직이며 조정하고 분류했다.
The rain on the tin roof, the sound of the knife, the turning of paper pages.
양철 지붕 위의 빗소리, 칼 소리, 종이 장이 넘어가는 소리.
All the sounds of his household, present and accounted for.
그의 집안의 모든 소리들, 하나도 빠짐없이 자리를 지키고 있었다.
He could feel, without knowing the words for it, that something had shifted in the room — not urgently, not dangerously, but in the way that weight shifts when someone changes position.
그는 말로 표현할 줄은 몰랐지만, 방 안에서 무언가가 달라졌다는 것을 느낄 수 있었다 — 급박하지도, 위험하지도 않게, 그저 누군가 자세를 바꿀 때 무게중심이 이동하는 방식으로.
A rebalancing.
재조정이었다.
He noted it the way he noted everything, then let it settle into the background of his certainty.
그는 모든 것을 인식하듯 그것을 인식하고는, 자신의 확신이라는 배경 속으로 가라앉도록 내버려 두었다.
That evening they ate on the porch as they always did, the three of them — Malee, Nipa, and Khao at their feet with his bowl set slightly to the side of Nipa's chair.
그날 저녁 세 사람은 늘 그러듯 현관에서 식사를 했다 — 말리, 니파, 그리고 그들의 발치에 앉은 카오, 그의 밥그릇은 니파의 의자 한쪽에 살짝 비켜 놓여 있었다.
The rain had stopped.
비는 그쳐 있었다.
Vocabulary
- 딸을
- ttareul — Daughter (object form); one's female child
- 바라보았다
- baraboadda — Looked at, gazed upon something or someone
- 열두
- yeoldu — The number twelve
- 살인
- salin — Twelve years old; age twelve
- 이
- i — This; a demonstrative pronoun or determiner
- 아이는
- aineun — The child (topic form); young person
- 언제나
- eonjena — Always, at all times, every time
- 어쩐지
- eojjenji — Somehow, for some reason, strangely enough
- 자신이
- jasini — Oneself (subject form); one's own self
- 어느
- eoneu — A certain, some, which (determiner)
- 방향으로
- banghyangeuro — In the direction of; toward a direction
- 자라고
- jarago — Growing, developing (connective form of 자라다)
- 있는지
- inneunjin — Whether something is happening or exists
- 알고
- algo — Knowing (connective form of 알다)
- 있었다
- isseotda — Was, existed; past tense of 있다
- 학교일
- hakgyoil — School matter or school affairs
- 뿐이에요
- ppunieyeo — It is only, nothing more than that
- 라고
- rago — Quotation marker meaning 'saying that'
- 말했었고
- malhaesseotgo — Had said (past perfect connective form)
- 틀린
- teullin — Wrong, incorrect, mistaken
- 말이
- mari — Words, speech (subject form)
- 아니었다
- anieotda — Was not; negation in past tense
- 뿐이었다
- ppunieotda — It was only, it was nothing more
- 그리고
- geurigo — And then, and also, furthermore
- 그다음에는
- geudaeume neun — After that, next in sequence
- 또
- tto — Again, also, additionally
- 다른
- dareun — Different, other, another
- 무언가가
- mueongaga — Something (subject form); some unspecified thing
- 되고
- doego — Becoming (connective form of 되다)
- 될
- doel — Will become (future modifier form)
- 터였다
- teoyeotda — Was expected to; was bound to happen
- 같은
- gateun — Like, same as, similar to
- 사람들
- saramdeul — People, persons (plural)
- 지평선을
- jipyeongseoneul — Horizon (object form); the visible skyline
- 향해
- hyanghae — Toward, facing, heading in direction of
- 방향이
- banghyangi — Direction (subject form); the way toward something
- 맞춰진
- majchwojin — Aligned to, set toward, adjusted to
- 사람들에게는
- saramdeulegyeneun — For those people, as for those persons
- 그런
- geureon — Such, that kind of, like that
- 식으로
- sigeuro — In that manner, in that way
- 흘러가기
- heulleoaggi — Flowing, passing (nominalized form of 흘러가다)
- 마련이었으니까
- maryeonieossteunikka — Because it was bound to be so
- 모든
- modeun — All, every, the whole of
- 것이
- geosi — Thing (subject form); the thing that
- 자연스럽게
- jayeonseureobge — Naturally, smoothly, without force
- 다음으로
- daeeumeuro — To the next, onto what follows
- 이어지고
- ieojigo — Connecting, leading on to the next
- 그
- geu — That, the (third-person determiner)
- 전부가
- jeonbuga — All of it, the entirety (subject form)
- 이곳에서
- igoseseo — From this place, away from here
- 멀어지는
- meoreojineun — Moving away, becoming distant (modifier form)
- 쪽을
- jjogeul — Side, direction (object form)
- 가리켰다
- garikkyeotda — Pointed to, indicated a direction or thing
- 제대로
- jedaero — Properly, correctly, as it should be
- 읽어볼게
- ilgeobolge — I will try reading it; I'll read it
- 말했다
- malhaetda — Said, spoke (past tense of 말하다)
- 그녀는
- geunyeoneun — She (topic form); the female subject
- 서류를
- seoryureul — Documents, papers (object form)
- 자기
- jagi — One's own self; oneself, reflexive pronoun
- 쪽으로
- jjogeuro — Toward one's side or direction
- 당기며
- danggimyeo — Pulling while; drawing toward oneself
- 손바닥으로
- sonbadageuro — With the palm of the hand
- 맨
- maen — Very top or bottom; bare, plain
- 위
- wi — Above, top, upper part
- 장을
- jangeul — Sheet or page (object form)
- 편평하게
- pyeonpyeonhage — Flatly, evenly, in a flat manner
- 폈다
- pyeotda — Spread out, flattened (past tense of 펴다)
- 이것이
- igeosi — This thing (subject form); this here
- 승낙을
- seungnageul — Consent, approval (object form)
- 뜻하거나
- tteuthageona — Meaning or signifying; implying one or the other
- 아니면
- animyeon — Or else, if not, otherwise
- 대화들을
- daehwadeureul — Conversations, dialogues (object plural form)
- 준비하기
- junbihagi — Preparing, getting ready (nominalized form)
- 시작해도
- sijakhaedo — Even if starting; it's okay to begin
- 만큼
- mankeum — As much as, to the extent that
- 승낙에
- seungnage — To the approval; in terms of consent
- 충분히
- chungbunhi — Sufficiently, enough, adequately
- 가깝다는
- gakkapddaneun — That it is close or near (reported form)
- 것을
- geoseul — The thing (object form); the fact that
- 알아챘다
- arachyaetda — Noticed, realized, picked up on something
- 일어나
- ireona — Got up, stood up (connective form)
- 강낭콩
- gangnankkong — Kidney beans; red or white shell beans
- 손질을
- sonjireul — Trimming, preparing food (object form)
- 거들러
- geodeuller — To help out, to lend a hand
- 갔다
- gatda — Went (past tense of 가다)
- 두
- du — Two; the number two
- 사람은
- sarameun — The person/people (topic form)
- 늘
- neul — Always, habitually, as usual
- 그러듯
- geureodeut — As they usually do; just as always
- 나란히
- naranhi — Side by side, in parallel, together
- 일했다
- ilhaetda — Worked (past tense of 일하다)
- 칼과
- kalgwa — Knife and (conjunctive form)
- 그릇
- geureut — Bowl, dish, container for food
- 서로의
- seoroeui — Each other's, mutual (possessive form)
- 살림
- sallim — Housekeeping, household management, domestic life
- 속도를
- sokdoreul — Speed, pace (object form)
- 아는
- aneun — Knowing (modifier form of 알다)
- 사람의
- saramui — Of a person (possessive form)
- 편안한
- pyeonanhan — Comfortable, relaxed, at ease
- 리듬으로
- rideumeureo — With a rhythm; in a rhythmic manner
- 이루어지는
- irueojineun — Being accomplished, taking place, happening
- 동안
- dongan — During, while, for a period of time
- 잠을
- jameul — Sleep (object form); slumber
- 잤다
- jatda — Slept (past tense of 자다)
- 아니
- ani — No, or rather; a correction word
- 자는
- janeun — Sleeping (present modifier form of 자다)
- 것처럼
- geotcheoreom — As if, like, in the manner of
- 보였다
- boyeotda — Appeared, seemed, was visible
- 눈은
- nuneun — Eyes (topic form); the eye
- 거의
- geoui — Almost, nearly, hardly
- 감겨
- gamgyeo — Closed (of eyes); shut (connective form)
- 있었지만
- isseotjiman — Was/existed but; although it was
- 귀는
- gwineun — Ears (topic form); the ear
- 몇
- myeot — A few, several, how many
- 분마다
- bunmada — Every few minutes; every minute
- 움직이며
- umjigimyeo — Moving, shifting (connective form)
- 조정하고
- jojeongago — Adjusting and; tuning (connective form)
- 분류했다
- bullyuhaetda — Classified, sorted, categorized
- 양철
- yangcheol — Tin, sheet metal; corrugated tin material
- 지붕
- jibung — Roof, the top covering of a building
- 위의
- wiui — Above, on top of (possessive/locative form)
- 빗소리
- bitsori — Sound of rain; the noise of rainfall
- 칼
- kal — Knife, blade, cutting tool
- 소리
- sori — Sound, noise, voice
- 종이
- jongi — Paper, a sheet of paper
- 장이
- jangi — Sheet or page (subject form)
- 넘어가는
- neomeoganeun — Turning over, flipping (modifier form)
- 그의
- geuui — His, of him (possessive form)
- 집안의
- jibanui — Of the household; family's (possessive form)
- 소리들
- sorideul — Sounds (plural); various noises
- 하나도
- hanado — Not even one; not a single one
- 빠짐없이
- ppajimeopsi — Without missing any; completely, all included
- 자리를
- jarireul — Place, spot, position (object form)
- 지키고
- jikigo — Guarding, keeping (connective form of 지키다)
- 그는
- geuneun — He (topic form); the male subject
- 말로
- mallo — In words, verbally, through speech
- 표현할
- pyohyeonhal — To express (future modifier form)
- 줄은
- jureun — The ability/way to do (topic form)
- 몰랐지만
- mollajiman — Did not know, but; although unaware
- 방
- bang — Room, chamber inside a building
- 안에서
- aneseo — Inside, within (locative form)
- 달라졌다는
- dallajyeotdaneun — That it had changed (reported past form)
- 느낄
- neukil — To feel (future modifier form of 느끼다)
- 수
- su — Way, means; ability to do something
- 급박하지도
- geupbakajido — Not even urgent; not pressing or critical
- 위험하지도
- wiheomajido — Not even dangerous; not threatening either
- 않게
- anke — So as not to; in a way that does not
- 그저
- geujeo — Just, simply, merely, only
- 누군가
- nugunga — Someone, somebody, a certain person
- 자세를
- jasereul — Posture, position (object form)
- 바꿀
- bakkul — To change (future modifier of 바꾸다)
- 때
- ttae — Time, moment, when something happens
- 무게중심이
- mugejungsimi — Center of gravity (subject form)
- 이동하는
- idonganeun — Moving, shifting (modifier form of 이동하다)
- 방식으로
- bangsigeuro — In the manner of, in the way of
- 재조정이었다
- jaejojeongieoatda — It was a readjustment; a recalibration occurred
- 인식하듯
- insikabeut — As if perceiving; in the way one recognizes
- 그것을
- geugeosteul — That thing (object form); it (object)
- 인식하고는
- insikhagoneun — After recognizing it; having perceived it
- 자신의
- jasinui — One's own (possessive form)
- 확신이라는
- hwaksiniraneun — Called certainty; something like conviction
- 배경
- baekyeong — Background, backdrop, setting
- 속으로
- sogeuro — Into the inside of; inwardly, within
- 가라앉도록
- garaandeulok — So as to sink down into; to let settle
- 내버려
- naebeoryeo — Leave it be (connective form of 내버려두다)
- 두었다
- dueoatda — Left it, let it be (past tense)
- 그날
- geunal — That day, on that particular day
- 저녁
- jeonyeok — Evening, dinner time
- 세
- se — Three (native Korean numeral)
- 현관에서
- hyeongwaneseo — At the entrance, in the entryway
- 식사를
- siksareul — Meal (object form); the act of eating
- 했다
- haetda — Did (past tense of 하다)
- 그들의
- geudeului — Their (possessive form); belonging to them
- 발치에
- balchie — At the foot of; near their feet
- 앉은
- anjeun — Seated, sitting (modifier past form)
- 밥그릇은
- babgeureseun — Rice bowl (topic form); bowl for rice
- 의자
- uija — Chair, seat for sitting
- 한쪽에
- hanjjoge — On one side, to one side
- 살짝
- saljjak — Slightly, a little bit, gently
- 비켜
- bikyeo — Moved aside, stepped out of the way
- 놓여
- noyeo — Placed, set down (connective form)
- 비는
- bineun — Rain (topic form); the rainfall
- 그쳐
- geuchyeo — Stopped, ceased (connective form of 그치다)
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